Anxiety
I remember my first 6-9 months in Costa Rica, serving as a volunteer for Peace Corps, and how often the locals would tell me, "Tranquila:" meaing, calm down, take it easy, or don't worry. I remember feeling like I was calm, or not feeling paticularly stressed, but it was in the context of their laid back culture that I did seem anxious or stressed.
It was during that experience that I began to realize how anxious our culture is from the United States. I wouldn't even consider myself a very anxious person. Sure, I get stressed out from time to time, especially during transitions, or sometimes want things to be a certain way, but in general I'm able to go with the flow and trust that I'll be OK. So the fact that they were telling me repeatedly for 6-9 months to calm down, it made me really question the difference between the two cultures: why the culture from the U.S. was so ridden with anxiety, and why the Latino culture was not.
I noticed several differences. One difference is the focus of the cultures. The Costa Rican culture focuses more on relationship; the U.S focuses more on achievement. I saw this in the meetings I would either attend or lead in Costa Rica: people show up generally a half hour or more late. It's called "Tico time"-it isn't punctual or on time, but rather when you can get there. If I was passing a person on the street, it was considered very rude if I didn't stop and say hi, no matter how late I was running, and saying hi meant asking how each person was, how their family was, what they've been up to, etc. They value relationships more than timeliness. In the U.S. culture, that is obviously not the case.
Another phrase Costa Ricans would often use is "si Dios quiere," meaning if God wills it, it will happen. This no doubt added to their relaxed demeanor, letting go of the need for control that often plagues the culture in the U.S. It can even be seen in the way they dance: their hips are more open and fluid as they salsa and merengue. Our hips are more closed as we do the box step and the waltz. As I was learning salsa during my time down there, they would often tell me to relax my hips more, that people from the States always have such tight hips. It's no wonder we have the term anal retentive!
I remember feeling bad about myself at times in Costa Rica, feeling like I wasn't accomplishing enough, despite not having a lot of control over the quantity or pace. This very much fueled my anxious feelings. My fellow Peace Corps volunteers had the same sense, that people from the U.S. culture will oftentimes measure their self worth based on their achievements and accomplishments. This can even be seen in how we get to know people at social gatherings, with one of the first questions being, "And what do you do?" That question didn't even make sense to ask in Costa Rica, and in fact, I remember getting some very strange looks when I first asked it. While the Costa Rican culture values working towards goals, they very much value being, and that one doesn't need to do something in order to be valued.
Another difference that shocked me was they seemed so much more sure of themselves, more settled and in their body. The culture in the U.S seems much more heady-more in our heads and out of our bodies, lending itself to more self criticism that comes from living in that restless, creative brain.
What was even more shocking to me was the history of each culture. History very much effects the emotional state of a culture. The U.S has had plenty of traumatic events, to name a few: the Civil War, the Great Depression, the different groups that have been discriminated against. Traveling in Nicaragua, I learned about all of the war and trauma they have had there, and yet despite it all, they do not live in fear or the type of anxiety the culture in the U.S. does. I recently began reading a book called A Brief History of Anxiety, Yours and Mine by Patricia Pearson, who touched on this topic, of how the anxiety in the U.S far surpasses that of other cultures.
I have yet to have an answer as to the reason why the U.S. is a culture with such heightened anxiety. I imagine it is a multifaceted one: relating to where we place our values, spiritual beliefs, where the media places it's attention and therefore what it shows the public, being a more head centered culture than more body centered, etc. What I do know is to normalize it for my clients that struggle with anxiety, that they are a product of their environment, whether that be their culture or their family. Let's at least try to calm down the judgemental thoughts that surround the anxiety itself, so at the end of the day, we are just dealing with the root of it, the anxiety itself.
