How to Manage Your Stress
Stress can affect individuals, relationships, families and even societies in many different ways. In the short term, stress can be beneficial because it can amp up one’s ability to perform. It is when we experience stress for longer periods of times that it starts to impact our body, health, and mental health. Some examples of what prolonged stress can cause or is linked to:
It’s linked to the 6 leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide (1)
Allergies, Asthma, Colitis, Constipation, Diabetes mellitus, Hay fever, Heart attack, High blood pressure, Indigestion, Peptic ulcers, Tuberculosis (2)
Depression, Menstrual difficulties/infertility, Migraines, Overactive thyroid glands, Skin Disorders, Rheumatoid arthritis (2)
Footnotes: (1) http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-does-stress-affect-us/0001130
(2) http://www.stress.org.uk/How-it-effects-us.aspx
What are some things to consider when accessing for your own stress and therefore knowing how to reduce it?
1. Our physical health: how are we taking care of our bodies?
2. Our mental health: how are our thoughts impacting our stress?
3. How are we coping with day to day stress (our emotional health)?
4. What kinds of stressful events do we currently have going on?
1. What can we do to take care of our physical health, in order to reduce our stress?
Eat healthier and regularly, with the most important meals being breakfast and lunch as we are expending energy during the day and need fuel. Try and prevent yourself from getting “hangry”: hungry and therefore angry, which happens when our blood sugar dips b/c we haven’t eaten in a while. Notice what foods you are putting into your body: is it all processed and packaged or is some of it fresh? How’s your protein, vegetable, and fruit intake? How’s your water intake?
Make sure you're getting enough sleep: sleep deprivation experienced over time greatly influences our mood, mental health, ability to think and problem solve, and stress.
Showering, brushing teeth, and making ourselves look presentable also affect our stress levels. The phrase “fake it till you make it” is there for a reason: if we’re feeling anything other than pleasant, sometimes dressing better than we feel can help our mood, too.
2. How are our thoughts impacting our stress levels?
The thoughts that we think can be very subtle for people, and yet quite impactful. Emotions often last for only a few moments or minutes, but it’s our thoughts that can influence our emotions to last for days, week, months, etc. Our minds can be very creative, to our detriment, and we tend to believe the things that we think our facts, when they just aren’t.
So how are we adding to our suffering? What types of messages are you telling yourself? Start to recognize your self judge and the ways you are hard on yourself.
Once you’ve become more aware of your mental dialogue, you can start to challenge those internal beliefs, coming up with different phrases to counter those thoughts. They say it takes about 20,000 repetitions for it to solidify in our psyche (think about how long you’ve been saying the negative message to yourself!), so start slow, be aware that it will be awkward, you will doubt yourself and why you’re doing it, but continue to stick with it, saying it to yourself daily and preferably in front of a mirror.
Example of destructive thought: “No one likes me.” Example of counter though: “I am loved”.
Example of destructive thought: “I can’t do anything right.” Example of counter thought: “I am doing the best that I can at any given moment.”
3. What can we do to take care of our emotional health, in order to reduce our stress?
Taking care of our emotions is just as important as taking care of our bodies. Stress can build up just like the pressure in a pop bottle that we are shaking up. If we don’t let the pressure out, the bottle will explode, just as how we explode emotionally when we have reached our threshold (which can look like yelling at people we don’t want to yell at, feeling a way we don't want to feel, or it can even manifest physically in the forms of the illness listed earlier).
So what do you do to let your “pressure” out on a regular basis, not just when things get hard, but on a weekly or daily basis?
Some coping ideas: any form of exercise; sitting and counting your breath from 1 to 10; cleaning; any type of hobby; anything creative (creativity often times expresses our emotions in ways that words cannot); journaling; writing 5 things every day that you’re grateful for (can change your lens and perspective on life); working on a puzzle; watching a movie (although beware to use technology (any form of screen including phone) at moderation b/c over use can cause more anxiety and depression); taking a shower; taking a walk; going out into nature; doing the opposite of what you feel like doing (especially if you’re feeling really lousy); getting together or calling a friend or family member for support; taking a class on something you’ve always wanted to learn about; baking or cooking (following a recipe can be quite calming and get us out of our heads); going for a drive; riding a bike; listening to music that matches your mood; making a playlist of music to match your mood; making a cup of tea to nurture yourself; punching or yelling into a pillow; doing something nice for someone; etc...
4. What kinds of life events are adding to my stress?
Life happens, and when it does, we aren’t always expecting it. For life events to impact our stress levels, they don’t always have to be negative, they can be positive, too, as change leads us into a transition and therefore, we have to learn how to adjust and reorganize sometimes our life and also our thoughts and emotions. Another factor to keep in mind is that every time we go through a transition, or change, we go through a grief process of letting the thing go, and anytime we haven’t fully dealt with previous grief, that old grief will attach onto the new grief (hence if you’ve ever felt like you’re experiencing way more sadness than you “should” be feeling).
Some of the top stressful life events are: death of a spouse; divorce; marital separation; jail term; death of a close family member; personal injury or illness; marriage; fired at work; marital reconciliation; and retirement.
Still some other stressful life events are: change in health of family member; pregnancy; sex difficulties; gain of new family member; business readjustment; change in financial state; death of close friend; change to a different line of work; change in number of arguments with spouse; a large mortgage or loan or foreclosure; change in responsibilities at work; among many others.
Acknowledging the life events that are happening in our lives is important because it creates more empahty and understanding for ourselves and others, reducing our stress levels.
If you're finding you're having trouble navigating these issues on your own, please contact a professional (either Jen, listed on this website or other therapists in your area) and schedule a free 30 minute consultation. You can feel and be the person that you want to be.
